Many of our foster and adopted children hated school. Raising a child with negative education attitudes was an ongoing, all-year long challenge. When my kids were in class they despised the learning process and often had conflicts with teachers and students. Learning was difficult. Failure was the norm.
Because school was a challenge for them, I discovered early in my parenting journey that their education was my challenge as well.
In order to see change in my children’s school attitudes, I made a commitment to do whatever I had to do to be a catalyst for their success. In other words, it was necessary for me to give my all to help my children change. God put these children in my life to transform my life as well as theirs.
These children did not get out of bed quickly and struggled with their morning routines. My routine had to be in order so that I could help them with theirs. Leaving lots of room for the unexpected AM events, kept us on time for school.
I asked the same questions for each child:
1. Is there a physical problem challenging this child? – a chemical imbalance, a lack of sleep, the need for a healthy breakfast or proper nutrition, allergies to food or environmental factors, a hearing deficiency, the need for eye glasses, hyperactivity, a lack of concentration or focus, etc.
2. Does my child have an emotional or problem that needs attention? – anger, impatience, abuse, a lack of love or emotional support, etc.
3. Is there a learning disability that is preventing positive learning? – cognitive or processing problems, low IQ, a need for a modified learning process, etc.
4. Do social situations keep my child from learning? – relational problems, abuse, bullying, conflicts with authority or peers, etc.
5. Is my child’s hatred of school related to behavioral issues? – rebellion, defiance, anger, etc.
Once we identified specific problems or needs, we could work on reachable goals.
My schedule was their schedule. I became a cheerleader for homework and school projects.
Things that worked for me:
• Write down all the steps of my morning routine and follow it! I complete these steps before my child gets out of bed.
• Write down all the steps of my child’s AM routine and help him or her to follow it.
• Communicate with my child’s teachers regularly. I get on his/her team and we work on a mutual plan to help my child learn.
• Find the causes of my child’s hatred of school and set goals to change those problems.
• Be willing to change my attitudes so that my child’s wrong reactions can change.
• Believe that God has good plans for each child and that He wants my child to succeed.
God changed my children, one step at a time. Prayer for each and every need was my daily priority and most important discipline. For every challenge, I found a Bible verse to believe and pray. Praying, seeking God and searching for answers was hard work on my part; however, my problems were God’s problems. I held fast to His promises and God answered.
Promises: God gave Solomon very great wisdom and understanding, and knowledge as vast as the sands of the seashore. – 1 Kings 4:29
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11
Partnering with God: Thank you Lord, God, that you have a good plan for my child and you want him/her to succeed. Right now there is a lot of hatred towards school. Take away the problems that cause the hatred and fill my child with wisdom, knowledge and understanding so that proper learning can take place. Replace the failure with your success as vast as the sands of the seashore. Give me wisdom in praying and guiding my child in the steps you want us to take. Change both of us, Lord.
Let me know your thoughts.
Partnering with God,